Sunday, January 2, 2011

#99 - Marci X

I've never worked so hard in my life to find a good movie, let alone a bad one. Someone is making sure that there are as few available copies of this movie as possible. I suspect anyone that was involved in this movie. Heck, even if I was just one of the lighting crew, I would not want my name associated with this piece of filming.

I had to order the DVD from Amazon and the cost was 88% shipping and handling. It was $0.49 for the movie itself, and $3.49 in s&h costs. I've never been so excited in my life to received something in the mail that I knew was going to waste 84 minutes of my life that I knew I was never going to get back.

So, the film stars Lisa Kudrow and Damon Wayans. I know, you are wondering how could a Wayans film be rated so low, right? I was asking myself the very same question when we first saw the list. No, but seriously, these are two actors (can you classify them as such?) that I'm not very fond of. No, I was not a fan of Friends, so appologies to Kudrow fans out there. Speaking of Kudrow, her character, Marci, in this movie doesn't fall far from her character on Friends. I guess the dumb blonde is what she feels comfortable doing. But I really should give her credit for doing whatever she could with the script she was given.

As for Wayans, has he ever done anything remotely funny? It's a serious question. He is supposed to be this big bad ass hip hop superstar, gangsta rapper if you will in this movie, and in the end, he makes Vanila Ice look cool. Oh, I just died a little right now as it reminds me that we have a Vanilla Ice movie on this list somewhere. But I stand by my statement, Wayans attempts to come across as this don't mess with me bad ass whose every nasty word turns on the ladies. Samuel L. Jackson could not have made this character look cool, and Morgan Freeman could not have made this character sound good. (Yes, you know Freeman has the coolest voice ever!)

Something tells me that this was also a half assed attempt at a musical, as there were quite a few music numbers, but they all fell flat. Not a single number brought even a single smile to my face. I reached my "I've had enough" point when Kudrow and her dumb girl possy (three characters with no substance) are in a seemingly black only club, and they stop the dj so that they can show the crowd their knowledge of black culture by doing some Kenya dance they learned back in school. It was insulting to anyone who has half a brain cell. Even though I had had enough, we pushed on, as I know I will need my get our of jail free card for something far worse.

What was really frustrating about watching this movie is that there was no thought at all put into the script. The idea itself had a chance at being something decent and watchable. I'm not saying that anything could have made this an actually good movie, but a 5/10 star movie it could have been. There were too many "this makes no sense" moments. To be honest, it wasn't as bad as it was boring. A really bad movie you can laugh at, or cringe at its badness, but this was just, well, dull. None of the characters were interesting, none of the jokes were funny, and there wasn't a single piece of acting that didn't fall flat. Best acting was the cameo of Mary Hart playing herself on her Entertainment Tonight show.

The best part during the movie was looking over at Christie as she sat on the couch all comfy in her snuggy knockoff that she bought for the sole purpose of these bad movie nights. What's better than to look like a real dork while sitting down to watch what you know will be a horrible movie? And yes, she got me one too, and I was not able to get out of wearing mine, so I too, looked like a dork.

IMDb Rating: 2.6
JF's Rating: 2 (I wanted to rate it 1, but I fear that there will be worse)
Chris' Rating: 3

JF's Turn off point: At the 40 minute mark when they were doing their Kenya singing and dancing..
Chris' Turn off point: It appears as though Christie has a high bad movie tolerance, as she did not have a turn off point. She likes to see where things go, and while she admits it was bad, she would have watched it all the way through even if she could have stopped it. She is a brave soul.

Until #98, I wish you a bad movie night.

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