#99 - Marci X

I've never worked so hard in my life to find a good movie, let alone a bad one. Someone is making sure that there are as few available copies of this movie as possible. I suspect anyone that was involved in this movie. Heck, even if I was just one of the lighting crew, I would not want my name associated with this piece of filming.

I had to order the DVD from Amazon and the cost was 88% shipping and handling. It was $0.49 for the movie itself, and $3.49 in s&h costs. I've never been so excited in my life to received something in the mail that I knew was going to waste 84 minutes of my life that I knew I was never going to get back.

So, the film stars Lisa Kudrow and Damon Wayans. I know, you are wondering how could a Wayans film be rated so low, right? I was asking myself the very same question when we first saw the list. No, but seriously, these are two actors (can you classify them as such?) that I'm not very fond of. No, I was not a fan of Friends, so appologies to Kudrow fans out there. Speaking of Kudrow, her character, Marci, in this movie doesn't fall far from her character on Friends. I guess the dumb blonde is what she feels comfortable doing. But I really should give her credit for doing whatever she could with the script she was given.

As for Wayans, has he ever done anything remotely funny? It's a serious question. He is supposed to be this big bad ass hip hop superstar, gangsta rapper if you will in this movie, and in the end, he makes Vanila Ice look cool. Oh, I just died a little right now as it reminds me that we have a Vanilla Ice movie on this list somewhere. But I stand by my statement, Wayans attempts to come across as this don't mess with me bad ass whose every nasty word turns on the ladies. Samuel L. Jackson could not have made this character look cool, and Morgan Freeman could not have made this character sound good. (Yes, you know Freeman has the coolest voice ever!)

Something tells me that this was also a half assed attempt at a musical, as there were quite a few music numbers, but they all fell flat. Not a single number brought even a single smile to my face. I reached my "I've had enough" point when Kudrow and her dumb girl possy (three characters with no substance) are in a seemingly black only club, and they stop the dj so that they can show the crowd their knowledge of black culture by doing some Kenya dance they learned back in school. It was insulting to anyone who has half a brain cell. Even though I had had enough, we pushed on, as I know I will need my get our of jail free card for something far worse.

What was really frustrating about watching this movie is that there was no thought at all put into the script. The idea itself had a chance at being something decent and watchable. I'm not saying that anything could have made this an actually good movie, but a 5/10 star movie it could have been. There were too many "this makes no sense" moments. To be honest, it wasn't as bad as it was boring. A really bad movie you can laugh at, or cringe at its badness, but this was just, well, dull. None of the characters were interesting, none of the jokes were funny, and there wasn't a single piece of acting that didn't fall flat. Best acting was the cameo of Mary Hart playing herself on her Entertainment Tonight show.

The best part during the movie was looking over at Christie as she sat on the couch all comfy in her snuggy knockoff that she bought for the sole purpose of these bad movie nights. What's better than to look like a real dork while sitting down to watch what you know will be a horrible movie? And yes, she got me one too, and I was not able to get out of wearing mine, so I too, looked like a dork.

IMDb Rating: 2.6
JF's Rating: 2 (I wanted to rate it 1, but I fear that there will be worse)
Chris' Rating: 3

JF's Turn off point: At the 40 minute mark when they were doing their Kenya singing and dancing..
Chris' Turn off point: It appears as though Christie has a high bad movie tolerance, as she did not have a turn off point. She likes to see where things go, and while she admits it was bad, she would have watched it all the way through even if she could have stopped it. She is a brave soul.

Until #98, I wish you a bad movie night.

#100 - Hababam sinifi askerde

If you can't pronounce that movie title, don't worry about it, neither can I. The reason is that it's Turkish. Yes, you heard right, the first movie on our list is a foreign film. Good thing for subtitles, right? Wrong. I know you know where this is going. I could not find a copy anywhere with subtitles. Actually, I lie. But honestly, I don't think watching the movie with subtitles in German was really going to help us out.

So it seems that there are a few of these Hababam Sinifi films. The first one, titled only Hababam Sinifi which they translated to "Outrageous" came out in 1975 and has an IMDb rating of 9.0. Four more films followed it in the 70's (three rating at 8.5, and one at 7.7) and one more in 1981 which did okay rating 6.5. In 2004 they came out with a new generation of this Hababam Sifini (literal translation: Crazy Class) and it faired poorly, and has a rating of 2.7. Thank god it missed the bottom 100, I don't know if I could watch two of these movies. What's worse is that they decided it would be a good idea two years later to release yet another installment, this wonderful little movie here.


And yes, Chris and I sat through the entire 110 minutes while understanding not a word. At one point we wondered if it was more enjoyable that way. It was rare when we really wanted to know what they were saying. Just watching the bad acting was hard enough on the eyes, at least our ears were spared. We did have fun adding our own dialog to the movie at times, getting a few laughs along the way, especially when the characters were responding perfectly to what we were making them say. It's like we were filming an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

So about the movie. Well, basically, it came down to a bunch of guys who are class clowns and they eventually get expelled from school and put into the army. Hilarity apparently ensues. There's really not much more to say. There is no action/physical comedy to speak of, other than all the actors over acting. The film had a very homosexual feel to it, as the guys kept kissing each other on the cheek, and touching/rubbing each other. There was one good looking guy in the entire movie, while every girl seen was a model, including the bus load of girls that were to become army chicks. The scene that followed them getting off the bus is what could have saved the movie from bottom 100 status, but the director totally missed it. All the girls went to their barracks and were undressing while our "crazy class" was making great efforts to peek in. No skin was shown. Not a single boob. Do I sound dissapointed? Yes, of course I am. You remember reading that these girls all looked like models, right? No, they would rather show some older dude with the bottom of his pants ripped off, as his butt is there for all to see, wearing tiger skin thongs.

The one thing this movie had going for it was potatoes. Yes, potatoes. Although, I do think Chris and I took the potato thing to a new level, but it did bring us a few laughs. Especially when the crybaby of the group went nuts over peeling potatoes. Our MST3K dialog at that point was certainly not family entertainment. But what are you going to do when you have to sit through 110 minutes of Turkish dialog and you don't fully understand that language?

At least the next movie is going to be in English. But perhaps we will look back at this and wished more had been in foreign languages.

So, I leave you with that, but not before we give you our personal ratings and at what point we would have turned the movie off under normal circumstances.

IMDb Rating: 2.6
JF's Rating: 3
Chris' Rating: 3

JF's Turn off point: At the 9 minute mark of the movie, when the boys were forced into getting their hair cut.
Chris' Turn off point: With 20 minutes left. That's when she really started to get bored and just wanted the movie to end.

What have I gotten us into?

It was just an idea. But she (she, being Chris, or Christie, just don't call her Chrissy) agreed with such enthusiasm (well, as much enthusiasm as you can muster through a text) that I could not simply say: "I was just kidding."

It started a couple of weeks ago as we discussed bad movies we had seen, and how bad (but yet, so bad they are good) old sci-fi movies were back in the day. Try watching Attack of the 50 Foot Woman without laughing or saying a few WTH's out loud to yourself during this 68 minute wreck of a movie. What a dissapointment it was that the only "attack" was the last 5 minutes of the movie, and they really missed making it into a sex gender switch King Kong-ish story... but I digress.

So, while we talked about bad movies, I went straight to the source: The Internet Movie Database. Yes, they have a beautiful top 250 list for the best rated movies. But they also have the dubious Bottom 100 list. So, the idea? Well, you probably guessed it by now... watch all 100 movies that make up the list of the worse movies as per rated by the IMDB public.

Now, because we can't watch 100 movies in a blink of an eye, and these rating constantly change, I have posted how the list looks today, and those are the movies we will watch. There are just a couple of rules to our upcoming adventure, and here they are:

1) We will watch them in descending order. So, 100, then 99, then 98, etc. I will make a new post after each movie we watch to let you know how it turned out.
2) We MUST watch the film in its entirety. No distractions, or doing anything else while watching. We must be able to talk about the movie afterwards.
3) We each have a single "TURN IT OFF NOW!" play. If one of the movies is so bad that either one of us can't go on, we can use our "turn it off now!". But over the 100 movies, we only can do it once each.

That's it. Pretty simple. So, here is the list we will be watching. To be honest, I'm looking forward to #9. Who wouldn't be excited about Pocket Ninjas. And I think I'm saving my "Turn it off now!" for #52.

Until Hababam sinifi askerde, I bid you fits of laughter as you read through the list.

Rank	Rating	Title	Votes
1.	1.4	Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)	11,394
2.	1.5	Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)	20,021
3.	1.5	Daniel - Der Zauberer (2004)	7,857
4.	1.5	Monster a-Go Go (1965)	3,013
5.	1.5	Night Train to Mundo Fine (1966)	3,380
6.	1.6	Ben & Arthur (2002)	4,480
7.	1.6	The Skydivers (1963)	2,009
8.	1.6	The Starfighters (1964)	1,721
9.	1.6	Pocket Ninjas (1997)	1,881
10.	1.6	Pledge This! (2006)	7,688
11.	1.6	Zombie Nation (2004)	3,976
12.	1.6	Zaat (1975)	2,170
13.	1.7	From Justin to Kelly (2003)	17,615
14.	1.7	Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag (2007)	2,159
15.	1.7	Disaster Movie (2008)	35,678
16.	1.7	The Final Sacrifice (1990)	2,104
17.	1.7	The Little Fox 2 (2008)	3,185
18.	1.7	The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)	2,680
19.	1.7	The Hillz (2004)	3,809
20.	1.7	Too Beautiful (2005)	1,915
21.	1.7	Zodiac Killer (2005)	2,022
22.	1.7	Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)	2,262
23.	1.7	Yes Sir (2007)	2,768
24.	1.7	Track of the Moon Beast (1976)	1,636
25.	1.8	Los nuevos extraterrestres (1983)	2,315
26.	1.8	Hobgoblins (1988)	4,641
27.	1.8	Who's Your Caddy? (2007)	11,467
28.	1.8	Fat Slags (2004)	1,781
29.	1.8	Turks in Space (2006)	5,748
30.	1.8	Crossover (2006)	7,426
31.	1.8	The Apocalypse (2007)	1,985
32.	1.8	The Wild World of Batwoman (1966)	2,488
33.	1.8	The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)	22,804
34.	1.8	Girl in Gold Boots (1968)	1,930
35.	1.8	The Creeping Terror (1964)	1,909
36.	1.9	Danes Without a Clue (1997)	1,760
37.	1.9	Die Hard Dracula (1998)	2,245
38.	1.9	Keloglan vs. the Black Prince (2006)	3,768
39.	1.9	Yûsei ôji (1959)	1,512
40.	1.9	Ator l'invincibile 2 (1984)	1,837
41.	1.9	The Tony Blair Witch Project (2000)	3,101
42.	1.9	Space Mutiny (1988)	3,823
43.	1.9	The Maize: The Movie (2004)	1,891
44.	1.9	The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek, Part II (1985)	1,600
45.	2.0	Santa Claus (1959)	1,980
46.	2.0	A Story About Love (1995)	1,709
47.	2.0	Going Overboard (1989)	5,882
48.	2.0	House of the Dead (2003)	21,771
49.	2.0	Soultaker (1990)	1,808
50.	2.0	Surf School (2006)	3,425
51.	2.0	Time Chasers (1994)	1,766
52.	2.0	Glitter (2001)	13,819
53.	2.0	Son of the Mask (2005)	16,101
54.	2.1	L'uomo puma (1980)	2,113
55.	2.1	Popstar (2005)	1,537
56.	2.1	Eegah (1962)	2,813
57.	2.1	Anne B. Real (2003)	2,992
58.	2.1	The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964)	2,379
59.	2.1	Troll 2 (1990)	11,754
60.	2.1	Leonard Part 6 (1987)	4,841
61.	2.1	Santa with Muscles (1996)	6,232
62.	2.1	Car 54, Where Are You? (1994)	2,766
63.	2.2	Miss Cast Away (2004)	1,507
64.	2.2	Snowboard Academy (1996)	1,707
65.	2.2	Feel the Noise (2007)	2,358
66.	2.2	Chairman of the Board (1998)	3,141
67.	2.2	Epic Movie (2007)	49,780
68.	2.2	Laserblast (1978)	2,306
69.	2.2	Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)	5,077
70.	2.3	Baby Geniuses (1999)	9,112
71.	2.3	3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)	5,167
72.	2.3	Ein Toter hing im Netz (1960)	1,920
73.	2.3	In the Mix (2005)	5,316
74.	2.3	Alone in the Dark (2005)	26,310
75.	2.3	Time You Change (2010)	2,563
76.	2.3	Anus Magillicutty (2003)	3,347
77.	2.3	Nine Lives (2002)	1,904
78.	2.3	Cool as Ice (1991)	4,646
79.	2.3	Demon Island (2002)	2,136
80.	2.3	Mitchell (1975)	2,587
81.	2.3	Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)	5,321
82.	2.4	Phat Girlz (2006)	6,319
83.	2.4	Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)	39,862
84.	2.4	Simon Sez (1999)	3,378
85.	2.4	Gigli (2003)	29,242
86.	2.4	Ed (1996)	3,806
87.	2.4	American Ninja V (1993)	1,727
88.	2.4	It's Pat (1994)	6,041
89.	2.5	The Underground Comedy Movie (1999)	1,735
90.	2.5	Love in Paris (1997)	2,157
91.	2.5	Meet the Spartans (2008)	48,515
92.	2.5	The Smokers (2000)	2,007
93.	2.5	Addiction (2004)	2,143
94.	2.5	Kazaam (1996)	12,748
95.	2.5	Daddy Day Camp (2007)	6,884
96.	2.5	Alien from L.A. (1988)	1,833
97.	2.6	Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)	13,331
98.	2.6	Bolero (1984)	2,884
99.	2.6	Marci X (2003)	3,423
100.	2.6	Hababam sinifi askerde (2005)	2,117